Snuff Tobacco story, is a joke that’s posted on several websites, so it’s difficult to attribute the snuff story to any one site. I do however like the entry on The Shooter’s Pub website, who claim the snuff tobacco joke is originally theirs - who am I to argue..?!

What needs to be accepted when reading this snuff joke / story, is that in times past, very often pubs would leave snuff out on the bar for customers to use. This practice has long since gone out of fashion - probably due to legal reasons. Anyhow, below is the snuff joke - visit The Shooter’s Pub for more.

One fine summer’s evening, the landlord, George, was pottering about getting ready to open up, when he noticed that the snuff box was empty. He went to fill it from his stock cupboard, and remembered that he’d run out the week before and forgotten to re-stock. Just another tribulation in the life of a landlord. He knew what this would lead to: shouts of “Idle Bastard” from the regulars, even the ones that didn’t take snuff. The fact that generations of regulars from 1660 to the present day called the landlord an idle bastard was no consolation. Wearily, he dragged out his old broom to sweep the outside of the pub, something he hadn’t had time to do for weeks.

While sweeping outside, the broom knocked against a dried-up dog turd, which crumbled on impact. He had a brilliant idea. It would be a quiet night, probably no snuff takers, the pot only had to look full. He took the turd inside, ground it up, and filled the snuff box.

Sod’s Law decreed that the first customer was Harry – an habitual snuff taker. “Pint please, George,” he shouted, and took a pinch of snuff. George put the pint in front of Harry, waiting for the explosion. “Bloody Hell,” says Harry, “has thee had a dog in here? There’s a bloody strong smell of dog shit.” He checked his boots and looked around him. George denied there was any smell of course, and Harry eventually started supping his pint.

Next in was Arthur. “Evening Harry, pint please George”, and helped himself to a pinch of snuff. “By ‘eck, there’s a strong smell of dog shit around here.” “Aye,” said Harry, “Aa thowt that.” So they both started checking out the well-scrubbed stone floor. While they were at it, old Tom wandered in. “What’s occurring here?” he asked. The lads told him the score and the three of them carried on looking, although Tom kept telling them he couldn’t smell owt odd.

Eventually they gave up the search. Tom asked George for a pint and took a pinch of snuff, “Hell fire,” he cried, “yon’s bloody good snuff George, I can fair smell that dog shit now!”

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Tags: Snuff, snuff joke, snuff story

This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm and is filed under Snuff, Snuff Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.